Robert Bateman has an airtight alibi. He was in Montreal on a book tour (at the age of 86) at the time of my abduction. Let’s move on. SUSPECT #2: Michael James Audain. This preeminent Canadian art lover has amassed one of our county’s most significant art collections. It’s so big, and he’s so rich, he just built a 56,000 sqft gallery in pretentious Whistler BC to show it off. One small problem: he has no GNAYs! It’s no secret that he fired his head curator for buying this Carr instead of my “On the Path”. Gallery patrons are constantly asking to see my work and leaving disappointed. He is sick of it (and me). He had the means (money), and the motive (envy) to mastermind my disappearance. I’m off to Whistler.



October 19, 2016

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