When I arrived at my new restaurant this morning to prepare for tonight’s grand opening, I was saddened to find it boarded up. I was immediately confronted by two naked and angry PETA protestors. Apparently, unicorn is an endangered species. Who Knew? Ramsey and Feenie are nowhere to be found, and like Peters denying Christ, say they have never heard of me. Also, the labour board and human rights people are squawking about my “sexist and demeaning” hiring policy. Again, who knew? So, sadly the Café GNAY dream is dead. On the bright side, the PETA girls (who are super-hot!) love my work and together we are planning a joint fundraiser. I’m looking forward to working (very) closely with these (sexy, but smart) “gals” to make the world a better place for all beings.


September 08, 2017

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