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“Cottage on the Bay” by GNAY

Epilogue: The pounding on OfGNAY’s door was the military police, or “The Eyes”. The good news is, for OfGNAY, that they were secretly working for the resistance. Blessed be the fruit! They bundled the startled Handmaid off, in a black van, and safely escorted her to the Canadian border. She is now living happily in the wilds of British Columbia (pictured here) under her former name of, “Scheherazade”. Sadly, commander GNAY did not fare so well. Found guilty of many charges, including “portraying a nude woman,” was taken to the salvation wall, stoned and hung.1 Let’s hope he has learned his lesson.

  1. Prices for GNAY’s limited edition prints are expected to soar on this news.

 

“Nude Looking over Her Right Shoulder” by Amedeo Modigliani

Talk about verboten! The rumours are true. Before the revolution, My Commander, GNAY, was a great artist! They say he was going to be #biggerthanbateman, but the “Sons of Jacob” put an end to all that. All paintings, except for Christian themed allegories, were banned and burned. Last night GNAY invited me up to his study to pose for this painting. A nude! If we get caught, it’s the “salvaging wall” for him and the “wasteland” for me. I think the painting makes my bum look big, but that is the least of my problems. There is a loud pounding on my door and I don’t think it’s Avon calling…

 

“In the Salon at the Rue de Moulins” by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

In the new Republic, “all men are equal, but some men are more equal than others”. My commander, GNAY, is more equal than many and took me to this brothel last night. What a naughty boy my commander is! There is much forbidden fruit in this society but those at the top have access to it all. Alcohol is strictly prohibited, but not for the guests of this government run “Gentleman’s Club”. GNAY loves to drink, but was well behaved and only had one. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. Maybe it was two.

 

“Two Women on the Moor” by Vincent van Gogh

Although being a handmaid in the new Republic has its downside, its far better than the alternative. Under the glorious leadership of Barron D. Trump women are forbidden from viewing art or reading literature, but we are well fed and have a roof over our head. The problem is: if a handmaid is found infertile (like my friend ofvincent), you are banished to the ecological wastelands, and a life of hard labour. I don’t want that, but I am confident that I will soon bear my “Commander” and his wife a happy healthy baby. Plus, here is a secret: GNAY is getting sweet on me and has invited me to his study tomorrow night. Did I mention my “Commander” is a great guy?

 

“La Belle Angele” by Paul Gauguin

Call me ofGNAY. I am a handmaid in the 23rd year of the reign of our glorious leader and president for life – Barron D. Trump. My “Commander” is GNAY. He is strict but fair, he is also handsome, and is a high ranking official and friend of the Republic. It is rumored, before the revolution, that he was a great artist and humanitarian. Unfortunately, I am now forbidden from viewing art or reading books. Other than shopping for the household, I really only have one job to do, and that’s to provide GNAY and his wife with a baby. That “ceremony” is the highlight of my week. Nice work, if you can get it.

 

“La Belle Angele” by Paul Gauguin

Call me ofGNAY. I am a handmaid in the 23rd year of the reign of our glorious leader and president for life – Barron D. Trump. My “Commander” is GNAY. He is strict but fair, he is also handsome, and is a high ranking official and friend of the Republic. It is rumored, before the revolution, that he was a great artist and humanitarian. Unfortunately, I am now forbidden from viewing art or reading books. Other than shopping for the household, I really only have one job to do, and that’s to provide GNAY and his wife with a baby. That “ceremony” is the highlight of my week. Nice work, if you can get it.

 

“Sunday Services” by GNAY

I don’t cast a lot of shadows, but sometimes it’s necessary, as in this painting. I wanted to create an early morning quiet solitude and longish dark shadows helped add to that vibe. Here is my process: I paint the scene and then I call in the sun and cast the shadows in a fun and creative way. I don’t get hung up on angles or tone or accuracy. I paint them where I see them (in my mind’s eye) and where they will complement the whole composition. I’m sure “art experts” would find many faults in my finished work, but I don’t paint to please them. I paint to put a smile on your face (and mine).

 

“Woman in the Sun” by Edward Hopper

Edward Hopper’s intriguing figurative paintings are extremely popular and I think his shadow play is a big part of their appeal. Look at this painting - it is ninety percent shadow! The shaft of sunlight takes us to the focal point of the composition, but more importantly, the shadow sets the mood for this unusual vignette. For me Hopper’s paintings are more like the opening chapter of a good book, than a picture. Obviously, something “shadowy” has happened or is about to occur. Don’t be fooled by the sunlight. Look for the story in the shadows. Those aren’t slippers under the bed.

 

“Self-Portrait at Papini’s” by Jeffrey Smart

Here is some great shadow casting by the Australian GNAY. The sun is not the boss of Jeffrey Smart. I find these constructed shadows far more creative than impressionistic attempts to replicate a feeling. This is a great example of using shadows to enhance a composition, make a statement, and have some fun! It’s also very empowering as a painter to set a scene, and then “turn on the sun” in a creative and whimsical way. And GNAY said, “Let there be light”, and there was light.1

1 First Book of GNAYtheism

 

“Haystacks (midday)” by Claude Monet (MO-NAY)

Monet did a whole series of “haystack” paintings like this one under different atmospheric conditions. In the winter, on a rainy day, in the early morning and my personal favourite – in dense fog. As the father of impressionism, his shadows are very highly regarded by art experts and historians. All shimmery, multicoloured, and diaphanous, they are quite interesting but are not for me. I could study these, and physics, and angles, and other stuff (yawn), and do more realistic and Monet-ish shadows, but that’s not the way GNAY rolls! I cast my shadows where I need them for maximum compositional effect, not where the sun says so. The sun is not the boss of GNAY!