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“Fluffy” by Maud Lewis

The newly released Canadian film “Maudie” is gaining some global attention and critical acclaim. I haven’t seen it, but I know it’s about a Nova Scotia folk artist who lived in extreme poverty battling some serious physical ailments and a mean husband. I could watch the movie and do a bunch of googling and summarize the results, but I would rather let her tell us her own story through her paintings. She didn’t leave me any self-portraits to interpret, but this comes pretty close. Here we can see Maude’s hunched shoulders, gnarled fingers, and missing chin. Don’t be fooled by the pretty flowers and butterflies. “Fluffy’s” eyes tell us the real story of a life of pain and cramped captivity.

Note: I only got one response to my “Paint that Tune” challenge so that program is on hold (for now).

 

“1994” by GNAY

The future has become the past in George Orwell’s much anticipated follow up to his acclaimed 1949 dystopian masterpiece, “Nineteen Eighty-Four”. Big Brother looms bigger than ever as Winston Smith toils in the “Ministry of Truth” redacting any traces of the artist formerly known as GNAY. Yes, Goldstein is gone and GNAY is the new number one enemy of the state and man to hate! The artist’s whimsical but thought provoking work has been deemed subversive and contrary to Party doctrine. But like most great things, GNAYtheism is a movement that can’t be stopped! Tensions really explode when Winston falls in love with the banned artist’s work and the “Thought Police” come-a-knockin! Grab a bottle of Victory Gin and a comfy chair because you won’t want to put this page turner down!!

Note: I would like to play “Paint that Tune” next week. If Readers supply me with five song titles I will paint a picture a day for each tune.

 

“Fahrenheit 452*” by GNAY

It’s sixty-five years later, and one degree hotter! “Fireman” Bateman is now “Fire Chief” Robert Bateman and there are no more books left to burn so he has turned his attention to the artwork of GNAY. In this dystopian near future setting GNAY’s “whimsical but thought provoking” paintings are considered subversive and unhealthy. Get caught with one - it and your house are burned to the ground! Gallery owners, museum curators, and private collectors live in fear that the next knock at their door will be “Fire Chief” Bateman with his flame thrower. The temperature really rises when the Chief becomes curious and starts a secret GNAY collection of his own!

*The temperature at which a GNAY limited edition print ignites and burns.

 

“Another Fountainhead” by GNAY

After almost 75 years, Ayn Rand’s very much anticipated sequel to “The Fountainhead,” is finally here! GNAY is a new breed of artist and he’s doing it his way, and doesn’t care what others think. With a stylus in one hand and a bottle in the other, GNAY portrays buildings in a whimsical style, with little or no regard for architectural detail or integrity. He wears his lack of formal training as a badge of honour, while “the art establishment” rejects him, again, and again, and again. Sparks really fly when our hero realizes that the love of his life (who is young and hot) doesn’t believe in him either! With his ego as his only weapon, will GNAY get off the mat and stick to his whimsical guns, or will he be lost to the lure of convention? You will laugh, you will cry, and you will cheer as GNAY shows us there is indeed an “I” in art!

 

“ARMAGEDDON” by GNAY

World renowned symbologist, Robert Langdon, is on the run again. This time he is out to save the world from the maniacal digital artist, known simply as GNAY. With sexy (and way too young) French art historian, Jeanne Hebuterne, at his side, Langdon will stop at nothing to squelch the global rise of GNAYtheism, whose evil doctrine dictates “creativity over commerce” (while enjoying the odd cocktail). The symbologist’s worst fears are confirmed when a prominent mega mall developer abandons his latest project, only to visit a museum. As the wheel of global growth grinds to a halt, Langdon and his short skirted assistant, race around the world uncovering dark secrets and elemental truths to avert the final battle… to avert ARMAGEDDON!

 

“Schools of Thought” by GNAY

Late last night a Ministry of Education led coalition, which included the CRA, The Federation of Canadian Artists, and MADD, stepped in and closed GNAY’s ONLINE PAINTING ACADEMY, for good. Sparked by numerous student complaints, the coalition cited shoddy/dubious teaching and other “professorial shenanigans” in their decision. Most of the complaints centered around the unit/lesson on “painting from/in the nude”.

Although GNAY is saddened by the closure, this will free him up to do several book covers, which prominent authors have been hounding him for. Tomorrow: GNAY unveils his jacket for Dan Brown’s new thriller, “ARMAGEDDON”.

 

“One Night in Saint-Remy” by GNAY

GNAY’s ONLINE PAINTING ACADEMY – Lesson 19: Dealing with Fame

  • Learn to cope with groupies and drugs
  • Learn to handle the press and paparazzi
  • Learn to give back, but not too much
  • Learn to dress down to keep women at a distance
  • Learn to use your artistic power only for good

In this lesson GNAY details the hardship of being a famous artist in a culture that glorifies art and artists. He shows you how drinking moderately (all day long) can be a fun and rewarding way to cope with the everyday madness of being in the artistic spotlight 24/7.

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATE: $169.99!!! or 12 easy payments of $19.99 o.a.c

Don’t delay - this offer won’t last! Only 1 space left! Call now- if you want to:

                                      “Paint like a Master – Paint like GNAY!”

 

“After Modigliani” by GNAY

GNAY’s ONLINE PAINTING ACADEMY – Lesson 7: Painting the nude figure

  • Learn why only the female form should be portrayed naked
  • Learn how to best pose and position your model (for good composition)
  • Learn why women are more than the sum of their private parts
  • Learn five sure fire methods for portraying pubic hair (when needed)
  • Learn why painting the nude should be done in the nude

In this lesson GNAY bares it all with his vast knowledge of portraying the female form and then titillates with his steamy studio stories, rivaling those of his mentor, Amedeo Modigliani. SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE: a mimeographed copy of his seminal MFA abstract, “From Goya to GNAY – a short history of pubic hair in art

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATE: $169.99!!! or 12 easy payments of $19.99 o.a.c

Don’t delay - this offer won’t last! Only 2 spots left! Call now- if you want to:

                                      “Paint like a Master – Paint like GNAY!”

 

“Thirst for Knowledge” by GNAY

GNAY’s ONLINE PAINTING ACADEMY – Lesson 2: Choosing your subject

  • Learn to paint stunning Landscapes without ever leaving your couch
  • Learn why painting Nudes is not naughty
  • Learn why Florals should be smelled, not painted
  • Learn to paint Back Portraits for fun and profit
  • Learn why a good Still-Life never contains a full bottle

 In this lesson GNAY unlocks the power of Google and shows you why every subject is a good subject and why bottles make the best subject for beginners. Also included: rare home studio footage of GNAY working a bottle of scotch into the label for a perfect composition. Oops, he went too far! No worries – he shows you an easy fix for that as well!

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATE: $169.99!!! or 12 easy payments of $19.99 o.a.c

Don’t delay - this offer won’t last! Only 5 spots left! Call now- if you want to:

                                      “Paint like a Master – Paint like GNAY!”

 

“The Medium is in the Messenger” by GNAY

GNAY’s ONLINE PAINTING ACADEMY – Lesson 1: Getting ready to paint

  • What type of paint to use – Oil or Acrylic?
  • What type of brush to get – Big or Small?
  • What to drink before starting – Beer or Wine?
  • What to drink while painting – Wine or Whiskey?
  • What to drink after painting – Scotch or Irish?

 In this lesson GNAY walks you through his well-tested set up routine for a pleasurable and uninhibited painting experience. Also included in this video - bonus footage of GNAY (in his bathtub) discussing the importance of “Drinking Up” and why.

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATE: $169.99!!! or 12 easy payments of $19.99 o.a.c

Don’t delay - this offer won’t last! Space is filling up! Call now- if you want to:

                                      “Paint like a Master – Paint like GNAY!”